This ‘life update’ post has been a long time coming but I did not want to rush myself and I have only just felt ready to write it. About two months ago, on Saturday 10th June to be precise, my life changed forever. This was the day that my mum told me she had been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and I felt my whole world collapse around me. This news resulted in me flying back home to Bristol where I stayed for around a month to spend time with my mum. I blogged where I could and even though worrying about outfit photos and how many likes my latest Instagram photo had received seemed so bloody trivial, sitting down and writing my British Summer In The City post was a great release. I was also lucky enough to attend Glastonbury last minute, which was a great way of forgetting all my troubles for a few days (until one too many wines were had, oops). It was a very strange month. I did not feel like myself at all. I missed Lewis. I suffered watching my mum suffer. I was and still am completely heartbroken.
I returned to Montreal in mid-July for the rest of the summer because it was something I had to do. Lewis and I had planned to stay in Canada until at least the end of the summer – after that we weren’t so sure - and it was something that I had been so excited about. The city was just coming alive after what seemed like the longest winter ever and I just had to get back to my happy place, my boyfriend and my cat. Of course, you will not be surprised to read that we are leaving Montreal in mid-September to return to the UK. It is something that we had been considering – although just as the news broke my career had taken a step in the right direction and I had started thinking about Montreal more long term. However, when you hear that your mum has a severely limited amount of time left on the earth and you live across the Atlantic Ocean, there is no other option than to go home. However, it is difficult to accept that after four years living abroad, it was not our decision to stop that lifestyle. It was nobody’s decision. It is also no-one’s fault. It is just life throwing a shit storm our way and I need to try and cope the best I can.
I hope this post does not sound too much like a self-involved pity party when actually it is my mum going through the worst of it. I guess I just need to write these things down and hope that if anyone reading is going through a tough time too, I want you to know that it is ok to think about yourself and that selfish thoughts are totally normal. Some of the selfish thoughts I have daily are that I simply do not want to leave Montreal and the fact that this is out of my control angers and scares me so much. So rather than just going back to my hometown of Bristol, as I’m sure my mum would prefer, I had to take control of where I live even if for now I am restricted to the UK. You’ve guessed it – we’re going to give London a try and I feel both excited and apprehensive about it. I am looking forward to reconnecting with old friends in London and being close enough to take regular trips back to Bristol to see my mum. I am worried about finding a job that pays enough to sustain a London lifestyle but I also can’t wait to get stuck into the “career ladder” I have been dodging the last few years.
So there’s a little life update for you. It’s the end of an era, the end of life abroad and the end of life as I know it. Perhaps now you’ll understand my reduced presence on social media and why there have been fewer blog posts recently. My head is so full right now – of things we need to sort out before we leave, trying to job hunt in London and making sure we enjoy our last month here. I have some all-important Montreal posts planned over the next few weeks so watch out for that. Having covered my trips to Boston, Toronto and Vermont with tips on where to eat and places to see, I have not yet posted a travel guide to Montreal, which is a crime! So yes, please bear with me and thank you for reading X